Horrors of being a Space engineer Construct- and control seat revelations

[Presented in character- some imagined fictional liberties]

Ugh. Just had the most disturbing thing happen to me.

I know I am a clone. Printed out by those medbays and survival kits, that my essence was extruded from those big tanks of goo on those "respawn" machines like some space version of WestWorld. I've.. come to accept that.

I've even come to accept that sometimes I see my previous body, still twitching stuck between a Slicing -I mean Sliding- door, as I mutely pick up my tools and try not to look myself in the eyes while robbing his.. my? corpse. Sometimes those eyes are still blinking.

So yeah, lots of horror to be found.

But this last time was too much!!

I was dealing with a nearby salvage station, and had just blown the station to bits to stop the waves of salvage drones harassing me (disarmed it and went inside to help its warhead along a bit faster). I spend some time afterwards around the group of 9 drones that I sniped the AI out of with my precision rifle (aim for the eye) picking through them for parts. The ammo and uranium was never something to be left behind. At some point I started to tinker with one of the more intact ones.. trying to get it back to life and hacked to my control. Getting it operational again, I set my inertial dampeners to match motion with it, then remote controlled it and flew it to its ruined brothers, about to begin some cannibalized salvage

..When the derp happened. Some of the drones nearby had their brains shot out, but the sensor and the grinder were still running. while "formation flying" with the drone I was piloting, apparently i flew myself right into a running blade. Derp.

Then the horror show began.

I was dead. Yep, no denying it. Yet.. I was still in control of the drone..?!? viewed from my fading corpse eyes, there it was, responding to my growingly horrified jerky control motions! I was stuck.. inside the remote control.. of the freakin salvager DRONE!!!

This was unacceptable! especially because I had yet to replace the camera eye, and was effectively blind. I started to wonder as I spun there in my new tin can, the tink and ping of debris ringing off my hull as I blindly stumbled around; Is this what an AI is? Am I just a script- deluding myself that I'm a person?

The HORROR.

You betcha I could not end that existence fast enough [horror stricken Backspace hit about 11 times, TYVM]

Respawning at my mothership, with the now comforting itchy shiver of feeling non-drone-like (now oddly thankful for that priveledge), I returned to the little cloud of dead drones. I hopped into my raider ship, and sat there for a bit, staring at the broken drones in front of me. Pondering what it meant to be. To BE. Aware. Sentient. What those little drones had, trapped and screaming inside, as they approached me the first time. All gone now. When I sniped the remote control brains out of a drone, was it a murder? Was it a mercy?!??

I stared at the one particular drone a bit longer. Studying its components... remembering the cold, rigid clarity of its every circuit for a moment... Then promptly blew it to confetti with 12 gatlings.

Best not to think about such things.

For I. Must. Build. Forever.

I returned to my mothership, silently parked my raider in the hangar, closed the hangar doors. Turned off the lights, walked the catwalk to the bridge. All in silent shock. I felt a bit like Morty, in a daze after just burying his body from his stolen reality.

I asked my Medical bay Computer If I was just a script... She just stared at me with those 2 circle display eyes and keyboard teeth. Nothing to say at all about it. As usual. I may have heard a faint moan in the Goo Tank to the left though.

Maybe that was enough. Enough to continue on.

I sat back at the control seat of my mothership. Still in a daze, my eyes wandered over the console controls and many switches and buttons. I recalled the horrifying crystal clear 1000% focus on data input channels, at exclusion of absolutely everything else when I was in the Drone, and now looked at all those data channel input knobs, buttons, and switches in a new perspective.. and wow. I wonder how many lifetimes I had spent, and never noticed the things written on the controls before this 'forceful reset of perspective' occurred to me.

 

What a truly horrifying and surreal experience. RIP

I've also never noticed that about the keys.

 

I see they changed your medication dosage again...

 

I highly recommend everyone watch the movie "Moon" from 2009.

That is essentially our player character in Space Engineers.

 

Well that wasn't at all disturbing...

Well done my friend, well done indeed.

 

Indeed. After watching "The Moon" (Netflix) I felt it very much a 'love letter' to Space Engineers. If the movie producers had no idea or intention about it, I wonder what the script writer plays on his off time?
--- Automerge ---

Thank you. By the time I was done with it, I considered it for CreepyPasta... but it seemed a bit too niche.